I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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