i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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