I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
