did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Randomize
