you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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