I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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