I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
