I'm really into asian looking animals
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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