Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
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