alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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