What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
