How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
