help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
