Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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