I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize