I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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