goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
