you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
dude. I can hear the air.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
