i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
