The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
