so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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