So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Randomize
