apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
