Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
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