It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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