i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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