there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
