She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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