I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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