ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
