quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize