i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
Randomize
