Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
