Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
