Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize