i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
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