I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
