so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
