I think i sorta joined a cult last night
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
