So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
