Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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