all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize