so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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