these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize