marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Randomize
