Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
