Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
This is my gift to your gina
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
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