She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
All I want is dick and wine.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
