his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
two words: eviction party
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Randomize
