I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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