i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
