I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
