Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
