her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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