What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Randomize
