Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I have already put on my inside pants.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Randomize
