I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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